Nursing Matthew

Light gray and dim
Chair soft and deep
And baby boy, small, warm and so near
I drink your profile in for the thousandth time
Watch those deep eyes wander
Listen to your breathing swallowing sounds
See the curve of your nose,
The soft round of those cheeks
Smooth your hair
Oh, tender!
I sigh and close my eyes, head back.

You stop sucking, look up at me with a twinkle--I know before
I look down
That expression.
You smile
My heart swells. Sweet, short mommy baby love.
You go back to nursing,
And which of us is more content?
You wriggle into that perfect position,
Upper foot tucked into the crook of my arm.
Deep breath. Eyes droop. Sigh. Sleep is coming.
I think:
You used to be just this long and now you fill the chair!
How did you grow so much so fast?

Maybe it happened here
In this chair
While I sat marveling
And you sucked
And snuggled close
In the gray dim light of this nursery room.

A word picture written 7.24.08, in bittersweet anticipation of weaning Matthew this fall.