Motherhood's Ministry

Carrying grace to a little sinner
requires that this big sinner
be filled first
with gospel grace
Awareness of the soaring heights of this salvation
and the lengths Christ went to deliver it.

Carrying grace
requires that I be humbled
again and again
shown the bleak darkness of my sin
so that I remember
The only light I can carry to my child
lies far outside myself.

Here we stand,
Two wretches at the foot of the cross.

Will my daughter bow down
in this sacred place
if all I do is point to the ground
and command her to fall down?
No, I must bow first
and weep these God-given tears
for my sin and hers
so she can know
Here alone is hope
for both of us.

I am having one of those truly wonderful but very challenging motherhood days. It's the kind of day where a particular child demands more energy and attention, patience and wisdom than I have to give. It's also the kind of day where I see God's grace and sufficiency and the glory of the Cross much more than I do on the days when it's all going well... because I am so desperate. This morning, after starting down the path of anger, stopping, calling my husband, receiving his prayers, and praying some more, I scribbled this quick poem in my journal. It is raw and rough and an incredibly poor attempt at showing how graciously God is meeting me, but I post it just in case it can be an encouragement to any of you other mommies who are experiencing similar need today.