Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A Hard Day... with Thankful Sauce

Today was one of those. I woke up and started fighting almost right away--fighting lies, fighting my sin. Anxiety, selfishness, irritation, judgment, anger. I was praying, talking Scripture to myself, working hard to obey the Lord. But before 8:00 a.m. rolled around, I knew I needed extra help. I emailed some friends--please pray! Here's how! And I know that God answered my prayers and theirs. I did experience grace in many ways. But I also blew it and sinned against my kids in anger. I called my husband, who prayed and cared for me. Then, back to work, with an additional set of temptations to fight--condemnation, discouragement, fear. Fight, fight, fail, repent, fight, fight, fight.

So... yeah. That was my day.

But you know, when I got to the end of it, and we were doing our Thanksgiving Tree at dinner time, I was almost overwhelmed with all that I had to be grateful for. How to choose just one thing to write on my construction-paper leaf?

I narrowed it down and made my decision, but all of that other good stuff needs to go somewhere. God's goodness is a flood even on my hardest days, and it's real grace that He opened my eyes to that this evening. I don't want to let it go without a commemoration. So here, without further ado, are some of the things I'm grateful for today:

-Sarah, who responded to my email right away to say she was praying

-Seanna, who sent me Scripture and--through the Holy Spirit--breathed new life into Psalm 23 for me, giving me fresh joy in God's Word

-a boy who loves his little sister, almost to a fault!
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-books, and that my kids love read-alouds at lunch time

-Jess, whose email to me opened with this line: "I love praying for you." I don't think I digested the rest of her email at all. Love... praying... for ME? What?? Don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve. I DON'T DESERVE THAT!

-1 Peter 2:20-24. I fail to live this Scripture out every single day, but I find great joy and hope and motivation in it nonetheless.

-that everyone took a nap today! Me included!

-Jess again, who called to check in and see how I was doing and prayed for me. It was a turning point. Not sure how much longer this list would be if not for her prayer.

-this sweet moment with my girlies
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-that God made food beautiful, as well as yummy
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-a baby who grins and wiggles and lunges for Daddy when he walks through the door each evening

-family dance party in the kitchen during dinner prep. Song? "Celebrate Good Times" by the Village People. Kids wanted to hear it three times in a row.

-This exchange at dinner--
David: What are you thankful for tonight, Matthew?
Matthew: Thankful for Mommy and Daddy going on dates.
Dave and Cara: !!!
Cara: That's great, Buddy. Why are you thankful that Mommy and Daddy get to go on dates?
Matthew: Because I love you.
Dave and Cara: (melt into puddles on the dining room floor)
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-an extra moment to pray over my Meg at bedtime

-a lovely, long email from an old friend. Yay for rekindled friendships with kindred spirits!

-and lastly, the promise of mercies that are new every morning. I don't have to fear tomorrow. My God is already there, waiting with a fresh flood of undeserved kindnesses.

I can't wait!

3 comments:

Sandi said...

Thanks for sharing this...so encouaged. I am so glad I don't get what I deserve.

Shannon Anderson said...

Thank you for sharing. It was very encouraging. I may not have little ones but I have been called to a season of caring for a relative and often find myself needing momemnt by moment grace and mercy. And reminders that I need not fear tomorrow. So thank you for blessing all who read this entry.

Trinity and the brood said...

Got to the end and started crying. the "flood of undeserved kindness." I vastly underestimate how much God loves me, and that He knows I am going to fail. and that this is okay with Him as long as I run to His hug instead of running myself down.
Thank you for sharing your day!