Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A Hard Day... with Thankful Sauce

Today was one of those. I woke up and started fighting almost right away--fighting lies, fighting my sin. Anxiety, selfishness, irritation, judgment, anger. I was praying, talking Scripture to myself, working hard to obey the Lord. But before 8:00 a.m. rolled around, I knew I needed extra help. I emailed some friends--please pray! Here's how! And I know that God answered my prayers and theirs. I did experience grace in many ways. But I also blew it and sinned against my kids in anger. I called my husband, who prayed and cared for me. Then, back to work, with an additional set of temptations to fight--condemnation, discouragement, fear. Fight, fight, fail, repent, fight, fight, fight.

So... yeah. That was my day.

But you know, when I got to the end of it, and we were doing our Thanksgiving Tree at dinner time, I was almost overwhelmed with all that I had to be grateful for. How to choose just one thing to write on my construction-paper leaf?

I narrowed it down and made my decision, but all of that other good stuff needs to go somewhere. God's goodness is a flood even on my hardest days, and it's real grace that He opened my eyes to that this evening. I don't want to let it go without a commemoration. So here, without further ado, are some of the things I'm grateful for today:

-Sarah, who responded to my email right away to say she was praying

-Seanna, who sent me Scripture and--through the Holy Spirit--breathed new life into Psalm 23 for me, giving me fresh joy in God's Word

-a boy who loves his little sister, almost to a fault!

-books, and that my kids love read-alouds at lunch time

-Jess, whose email to me opened with this line: "I love praying for you." I don't think I digested the rest of her email at all. Love... praying... for ME? What?? Don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve, don't deserve. I DON'T DESERVE THAT!

-1 Peter 2:20-24. I fail to live this Scripture out every single day, but I find great joy and hope and motivation in it nonetheless.

-that everyone took a nap today! Me included!

-Jess again, who called to check in and see how I was doing and prayed for me. It was a turning point. Not sure how much longer this list would be if not for her prayer.

-this sweet moment with my girlies

-that God made food beautiful, as well as yummy

-a baby who grins and wiggles and lunges for Daddy when he walks through the door each evening

-family dance party in the kitchen during dinner prep. Song? "Celebrate Good Times" by the Village People. Kids wanted to hear it three times in a row.

-This exchange at dinner--
David: What are you thankful for tonight, Matthew?
Matthew: Thankful for Mommy and Daddy going on dates.
Dave and Cara: !!!
Cara: That's great, Buddy. Why are you thankful that Mommy and Daddy get to go on dates?
Matthew: Because I love you.
Dave and Cara: (melt into puddles on the dining room floor)

-an extra moment to pray over my Meg at bedtime

-a lovely, long email from an old friend. Yay for rekindled friendships with kindred spirits!

-and lastly, the promise of mercies that are new every morning. I don't have to fear tomorrow. My God is already there, waiting with a fresh flood of undeserved kindnesses.

I can't wait!


Sandi said...

Thanks for sharing this...so encouaged. I am so glad I don't get what I deserve.

Shannon Anderson said...

Thank you for sharing. It was very encouraging. I may not have little ones but I have been called to a season of caring for a relative and often find myself needing momemnt by moment grace and mercy. And reminders that I need not fear tomorrow. So thank you for blessing all who read this entry.

Trinity said...

Got to the end and started crying. the "flood of undeserved kindness." I vastly underestimate how much God loves me, and that He knows I am going to fail. and that this is okay with Him as long as I run to His hug instead of running myself down.
Thank you for sharing your day!